No way

I won't escape from the feeling. I take it sinerely. I am sorry. If you willing to forgive me, I will thank god we are still freind. If not, I can take it and i will treat like my friend still. I did too many stupid and regrattable things and decisions. I don't want to be afraid to be myself. Sorry about my unperfect personality if I hurt you so hard. I will love myself more and more. Then i can start to love others, from my heart. I love you. I wish I have never hurted you. Please accept this feeling and remember the pain, Brian. make it better and wonderful in the future. It is pity to lose friends in this way but it happened all the time. I have to go now. Thank myself to wake up to be the real one. bear the pressure and take it. Enjoy it.

What the hell....

WHat the fucking hell? I am back, and then i am sorry. Sould i come back? mixed it? blend it? half and half? what a fxcking situation? make a foundation and build everything on it? Why i always hurt the people i care and i always let the people who i don't care feel better? yes i am this kind of person. shit. yes, you are right. Friends won't force friends to do what they don't wanna do. I am pretty sure i am back. but too much. what i learned is in myself. reveiw it. check it before i do everything. Just like i speak english. be careful. before i let "it" out. you know what. it is useless . sorry can do nothing. Sorry can cure nothing. sorry always save the buy who did something wrong only. but the one who need the cure is who i want apologize for. so selfish. too selfish.

I am sorry.

I am sorryI am sorry I am sorry I am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryvI am sorryI am sorryvI am sorryI am sorry keep silence. I know apology will cure nothing, but i will feel better. so selfish. I am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorryI am sorry

I am back.

It is definitly true. To be a student is such fortunate. No more fear. No more mercy. No more tolerance. I tried hardly to be a tame member in this family, but you think that is me actually. You will never know you are wrong. Totally wrong. But you will see that soon, at least. You are not my target, you are not my burden. I am going to do what I should do and need to do. We all know that to get girls is not big deal, yet to have a lovely job is a kind of problem. It is amazing. I just finished an animation. It talks about a genius who limited himself in a frame because he cares about his two brothers and father. Does he care about the money? no. Does he care about the position? no. He cares about the relationship and the emotion in the family. So he limited himself in a tiny frame to keep the unbalanced balance in his family. Until he met a new classmate, it is not balanced anymore. He still cares about his family, his brothers, and his parents. However, he understands the time is coming. Without thinking anything else, but his own businese. So do I. Sorry buddy. I think I did whole thing wrong to make you live in this way, but you are not my duty. you are yours. i gave you more than twenty years, but i think maybe you have never known that, and even you thought that was natural. Seriously, I don't care about your feeling anymore. I don't care about your confidence anymore. I don't care about you will fale or succeed. now it is time for you to grow up. I have walked with you for such a long time. Sorry about that. No more. Because i am not a four feet animal. I only have two feet, and with a pair of wings. I said I am a lion, and i was wrong. I am not sure what kind of animal I looked like now. Hello my dear friends. Long time no see. the original one. .\ /.

Pressure

I am surprised that the pressure comes so fast, and it is from my mom. Somebody started the war which I tried to avoid always. I argued with my friend one day. I cound't sleep. Just second day I am back to Taiwan. A house. it is just a house. If you want the money, just take it. If you want to ask my help, just tell me directly. But never, ever do this again. I was angry. You have to bear your responsibility, and i will do my job too. However, you will not have my respect anymore. It is all business now. I will go to consider it carefully to distinguish the burden which belong to you or me. No more mercy and consideration. My way is there. Thank you for everything you done for me when I was not here. You won't know forever what i am going to do, and yo won't have any ideas why i make it so cruelly. Because you have never understood what you did was such foolish behavior. Look at the mirror if you can. Tell me what you get in the honest reflection. A hero, or a coward? Never ever do this kind of thing again, or i will let you know what kind of persons you are and I AM. FUCK the reality. No more mercy and respect. No more tolerence and consideration. I will do what I should do , even it is cruel. You asked it yourself. Think about it carefully, i mean really carefully. You just did something that you should not ever do it.

THe feeling is.......

I know it will become tough. I know it will go to the end of the lane. I know i will become sensitve. I know i won't cry. I know i will keep smiling with tears in my eyes. I know you will be there to look at my leaving. It will be the first time for me to have a girl in my mind while i am leaving. Everytime i looked at you. I don't know what to say. I am not shy. I am not embarrassed. I am not trying to be cool. I am just plain. I am just thinking with nothing. My brain is filling without anything but maybe your image. It is not just love. It is not just friendship. It is not just careness. It is not just love. It is not just love. It is not. You are beautiful. You are pretty. You are sweet. You are cute. You are amazing. You are fabulous. You are the one. You are the one who force me to abandon my original life. You are the one who make me to feel something else. You are an angel. You are a girl. You are a special girl. You are definitely a smart girl. When you find the way you have looked for so long time, you are going to fly. When you discover the light, You are going to smile. When you know who you are, you are going to be the one who you have looked for so long time suddenly. you are so nice and perfect, but you are not so sure about that. you try it hard. Wish you have bravery and wisdom in the future to deal with the difficulties you will meet. The one who can judge you is you. The one can accomplish yoiu is you. The one who can let you know you are wonderful is you. I am a messenger. I send you the messages from you. Can you tell that? Can you understand that? You ask me to be the messenger to send the messages to you. Now i am leaving. You are going to know the truth. I am sorry i didn' tell you that. Because i can be with you more often. I am selfish. but i am leaving soon. You will be much better after tomorrow. You will be confidente after tomorrow. LOVELY GIRL, do you know you are so lovely? Do you know you are so so so lovely? You are lovely.

What a wonderful world !!

Thank you, Clair. You gave us a unforgetable "final lunch". I have never expected this lunch could be so amazing, so fantastic, so perfect. Moreover, there was a crazy karaok after the lunch. What can I say? What a wonderful day!! I really appreciate everybody coming to have lunch together and have fun together. I also appreciate the guys who couldn't come to think about the lunch for a while. I know you are willing to come. I know you are lovely guys. Never mind. Everything is going well. Going perfect. Can you ask me the stupid question again? " do you like toronto?" What a such silly question!? I don't like it. I LOVE it. LOVE IT. The people who are studying in YorkU are tremendous! I am glade I am here even i am already 34 years old but i look like 28.haha. "gimme gimme more, gimme gimme more!" "slave~~" I believe i will have a nice dream tonight. I believe i will remember everything happened today. I stay here almost 6 months. but it is not worth or valuable than today. What I got , what i learn ,what i enjoy in ,what i want to remember in my life. I love you guys!!!!!!!!!! I just such enjoy when we are together. I love you!!!!!!!!!!