Two Lovers

quoted from:www.entertainmentwallpaper.com/download/10016145/
I just finished this film. I don't know how but I do feel what he feels. The drama is a little be unusual, however it seems like a real section of a normal life. I found it is a good way to watch a movie, which is to immerse in it deeply and completely. When we admire a movie throughout with hearts and without judgements or thought, it is obvious to feel and get what the director wants to say and to present. Recently I got words which came from a famouos person, Oscar Wilde, which is,"No shallow people who do not judge appearance." Also I am reading a book, Against interpretation, which was wrote by Susan Sontag and had been translated to several languages already. It is definitely a new world for me to discover even though I found I am not so smart to understand everything she declared, and it is the first time that I found I am not clever enough. haha. too bad. I think maybe it is kind of a upgrade that I am looking for something to define myself in a harder way. Let's go back to this movie. I have to say Gwyneth Paltrow is really attractive and charming. Joaquin Pheonix was also amazing in this movie. It didn't make me cry, but I know I felt it clearly at that moment when he laughed and cried. Have a loook if you want to do it but not yet.

Reading makes me happy

quoted from: www.brunozzi.com/en/2008/05/
Long time no see, my dear friends. In these days, things changed so fast, too fast to grasp the real feeling during it. However, everything would leave its footprint without exception. All these marks composed me. I met a mysterious piano teacher in the beginning. Of course it is She. haha. She is a totally new world for me to discover with curiousity. Then I know she is a completely unusual artist and an instructor about instruments. I was immersed in that weird feeling which she gave to me in these two weeks. At the same time, she introduced several books to me. All these books are related to Alchemy and Zen. Suddenly I found I have never read any books which are so abstruse and difficult to understand. Insensibly, I was used to read simple books and articles gradually before. I think it is also the reason that I discovered my brain wa going to be dumb previously. Now and then, I could think carefully and completely, but it was hard to keep this situation at most part of life. Fortunately, I got my brain back finally. "Jung and Alchemy", this book costed me three days to finish it, and it also made me a little bit confused. I understand what I read, but I don't understand it deeply. So I just let my brain take a rest and wish it can operate by itself.

quote from:store.halloweentownstore.com/.../PROD/0181/TS337
This morning, I finished a movie,"I spit on your grave". It is a famous movie which was abandoned to be public until recent decade. Maybe the reasons for this movie to be abandoned are that it includes violence, sex, mistreatment, and something which was over the morality or rules in that era. It was made in 1978 if I remember it correctly. Haha. This movie shows everything in our daylives nakedly. Sorry I am not going to decribe anything about the drama, but the feel I obtained in it. First of all, it was made in thirty years ago, but it is not boring or inferior at all. Instead of Taiwanese movies, there are no aged and toneless periods in it, but the same feeling as modern movies which includ excitement, interesting tempo, and attractive points step by step. How could the director make that movie in a modern way before thrity years?
The second, this movie made me miss up one of my unforgettable ex-ex-ex-.... girlfriend. How come? I have not thought about her for a long long time. Why she came out suddenly? Then I figuared out one theory later. Humanbeing is like a object as an iron or a piece of wood. I mean if you can do something to change the state of these materials or the arrangement of molecules in them by some specific methods, maybe it is possible for us to do something to stimulate ourselves or others to become different characters or whom we want to be. I mean that we can catch some stimulation actively, instead of being passively.
I tried to figure out what was existing in my mind clearly, but it was not successful. However, I think it could be a helpful shortcut to find out who we are and what we want. :))

What I think is what I am

quoted from: www.1-123.com/1keji/dikaer.asp
It was weird. Two of my closed friends told me something about my defects recently. After we watched a movie,"Yes, man.", we talked a lot. The main point in our conversation is related to that movie because he wanted me to be positive and stop giving my opinions to my previous jobs and his friend's job. He thought I have never changed myself at all, and the worst thing was I turned back to the origin. I was confused about why he told me that and what he indeed wanted to make me understand. Two days after that was today. He called me again to express that he really wanted to finish what he wanted to convey to me totally even though we have talked more than two hours already that day. I thought maybe I do have a big problem, but I also wondered why you knew what is right or wrong. And even you can give me some opinions about international trade which you have no experience about, but just have watched the process. And, you are a computer engineer. And I was a salesman ever. You might be right, and so do I. I am thinking if it is "right" that people who have good jobs, beautiful families, and money understand what is exactly a right way to live or to perchase everything. Be honestly, it seems logical and rational because they already have what most people want in the world and they do reach some goals in their lives, but I haven't. I think it is my self-esteem to make me think in this way. I am not willing to recognize that I chose the wrong way to live my life or to be myself before. Having a good job, a wonderful family, and money can be a successful complishment. Also it could stand for yourself. I am a loser if comparing to you. So I think everything in a different way because we are in different positon and situation. I believe I will do the same thing to others if I am as successful as you. I am fortunate that I am not as good as you 'cause I know what you have now totally after you worked so hard for so long time and it makes me feel happy to you, but it doesn't make me feel envious or jealous about your everything. Well, if you get hundred million fortune, then maybe I will be jealous of you. haha. I appreciate what you told and did for me sincerely. I wish I can repay you and other successful friends my excellent complishment which I make by my way to show you something new and interesting in the world. :))

Blood Donation

quoted from: idrcngo.com/blood.php?A3
Finally, today was a better day for me to go out to breathe some air. In the morning, there was few rain still falling and it was really cold. Generally, the rain stopped and weather became warmer. At that moment, an idea just passed through my brain~go get a blood donation. I don't know when blood donation becomes a activity in my life. And now it becomes a special destination to me. I am sure that my purpose is not only to help somedoby, but make my mind stable and peaceful. You ask me why? I don't know so I can't tell you exactly. However, I indeed felt calm and smooth when I was waiting or even when I watched my blood coming out of my obvious vein. The organization mails a message to remind me to donate blood every six months. Even it gave me a birthday card last year, and it made me feel warm and sweet very much. By the way, you can get something to be a gift or supplies after donating blood. This time I got two tubes of toothpaste. :)) Unfortunately, I broke a rule about donating blood. I didn't get any lunch before i went to do blood donation, so I experienced a horrible period of time after one hour. When that time I just finished reading a book to raise up, and pretended to find some interesting books to enjoy my sunday. Suddenly I felt dizzy and sick. I struggled to run out to get a seat, but the feeling was getting worse every second. Cold sweat came out of my whole body and I felt I want to puke. The feeling kept few seconds I think, but it felt like the end of the world and it kept as long as years.....Later I felt better and struggled to raise to ride my scooter back home even though I wonder if I could make it. Then I found a Mos Burger beside the road on my way home, and I just parked my scooter and went into Mos Burger order a set to obtain some energy, and awefully the horrible feeling came out again to make me sick while I was ordering my favorate hot dog. Thanked the waiter for preparing my food quickly. He saved my life, but he never knew that. This is the first time I met the dangerous situation after donating blood. It made me think a lot when I sat in Mos Burger chewing my hot dog. Human being's live is so weak. It's rerally like a candle in the wind. Now I realize what Eric Clapton wants to indicate in his famous song which was for remembering his lovely son, "Tears in Heaven". Do what you wanna do. Live in what kind of life you wanna have. ASAP. To my all dear friends.

Myth

quoted from: pitayastudio.myweb.hinet.net/art10-1.htm
The funny thing is I am going to leave the company what I built and stayed at. Nothing special but quarrel. Actually, quarrel is not special at all, but the ways we show out ourselves are totally different and weird. At this moment, I consider that some people are wonderful to be friends for whole life long, but they are not the ones to fit the position as co-workers or partners sometimes. Who is the right one? I wonder there is anyone right. Be honestly to say so, I don't know how somebody knows what he said were all correct and helpful, and even knows other people's thoughts. Am I dumb or others are too smart? I can't accept that, and I think there are nothing correct always except that you think it and believe that it is right and correct. Maybe this is a sophistry, but nothing can be sure certainly. What the pity is not I can't do the business anymore, but there were always harmful words came out in a quarrel or arguement. The ridiculous thing is people always say what they do or what they say are from good intentions. I think this saying is the cover of all violence, no matter in behavior or words. Every moment is part of my life. If this way is stuck, then go to find another way. All roads lead to Rome. :))

New Business

Jeff and me are going to open a new business. A new and interesting business. Jeff was my classmate in junior high school, and is my best friend in my life. At least until now. It is realistic to say this, but it's indeed easy to destroy our friendship while we are opening a business together. After all there are too many unnecessary elements in our friendship this period of time, which are money, authority, and desires. No one of us knows what is going to happen later, but just believe in each other. What the most important thing is what we are goign to do. A business to offer transportatiion to the disabled and whom could not use public transportation and taxi easily is what we plan to do. Actually there is a huge system to provide the same service, but the units to execute it are not responsible to do their duty while they are accepting the subsidy from government. Also, the rule to use or book this service is unsatisfied and narrow. It causes some people who really need this service have no chance to get this benefit in the end. This is the main reason for us to open a business to provide more service to fill to lack of demand by personal organization without subsidy. Of course we want to make money meanwhile. It is a positive circle. At this moment, the business will open on April first. There is no related experience to consult before we prepare the fundation for this enterprise. So wish us lucky. :))