What I think is what I am

quoted from: www.1-123.com/1keji/dikaer.asp
It was weird. Two of my closed friends told me something about my defects recently. After we watched a movie,"Yes, man.", we talked a lot. The main point in our conversation is related to that movie because he wanted me to be positive and stop giving my opinions to my previous jobs and his friend's job. He thought I have never changed myself at all, and the worst thing was I turned back to the origin. I was confused about why he told me that and what he indeed wanted to make me understand. Two days after that was today. He called me again to express that he really wanted to finish what he wanted to convey to me totally even though we have talked more than two hours already that day. I thought maybe I do have a big problem, but I also wondered why you knew what is right or wrong. And even you can give me some opinions about international trade which you have no experience about, but just have watched the process. And, you are a computer engineer. And I was a salesman ever. You might be right, and so do I. I am thinking if it is "right" that people who have good jobs, beautiful families, and money understand what is exactly a right way to live or to perchase everything. Be honestly, it seems logical and rational because they already have what most people want in the world and they do reach some goals in their lives, but I haven't. I think it is my self-esteem to make me think in this way. I am not willing to recognize that I chose the wrong way to live my life or to be myself before. Having a good job, a wonderful family, and money can be a successful complishment. Also it could stand for yourself. I am a loser if comparing to you. So I think everything in a different way because we are in different positon and situation. I believe I will do the same thing to others if I am as successful as you. I am fortunate that I am not as good as you 'cause I know what you have now totally after you worked so hard for so long time and it makes me feel happy to you, but it doesn't make me feel envious or jealous about your everything. Well, if you get hundred million fortune, then maybe I will be jealous of you. haha. I appreciate what you told and did for me sincerely. I wish I can repay you and other successful friends my excellent complishment which I make by my way to show you something new and interesting in the world. :))