Time is passing

Everything is changing. Niagara Falls was changed. Water was frozen, and the river was filled with ice. Frankenstein still hold that giant hamburger, but he looked older. KingKong stayed on the top of the skyscraper everyday, yet it was abvious to tell that he was bored. I was there with new friends in a snowing day. It was cold, and wet. I saw an ashtray in the middle of two elevators. It was clean and shiny. I just knew that it was discourage to smoke indoors since two years ago. Everything is changing. I am here in the third day of my vacation. It's such quiet. Occasionally, the sound of turning pages could be heard. And the sound from the fan in my historical laptop came out unexpectablly. Today is a sunny day, but I know it is cold outdoor. Sunshine is penetrating through windows and filling the livingroom with brightness. I can tell. I can tell there are soemthing changed in the interior of me. I met friends yesterday. Shun Mike Natalia Pit Tina..... If it is proper to say that, then I will say, "The world where I live in is composited by people, by friends, and by emotion." "The person I want to be is the support in your worldS." The old world I had lived in thrity years collapsed several years ago. The new world I am living in is building up, and it become bigger and various. A person told me this morning ....You "should" learn how to be humorous person. I thought it deeply, and then didn't give a shit. Who do you think you are? I know who I am more than you. Don't tell me that. before you know me.

I want to be a teacher

I want to be a teacher for sure. It costed me more than thirty years to find the answer. Beforetime, I looked at a woman with judge's glasses. I looked at her arms, legs, face, and chest. Several days ago, I forgot the reason that why I gazed at these parts in a female, because they meant nothing for me suddenly. The worse fact I found is the people whose personalities I admire are mostly with chubby figures. I am pretty sure that I don't like fat women. Sorry to say this, but I have to clarify these basic conditions. I know I am narrow. I know I am shallow. Fortunately, I got the answer at all, even it was so late. I have never wished that I can keep sleeping during my whole life. I didn't do it before, and it won't be happened in future.
Honestly, I am a little afraid that the woman who will beome my wife is a chubby girl, yet "she" is going to lighten my life. I know the logic, I know the reason, I know the system; however, I just cannot explain it out, but I understand it completely. I will be a teacher fo sure. You, my director, is the reason I am here. You wipe the dust in my glasses which I wore to decorate my temperament. Maybe the reason is not only one, and I will find it out. I know I want to be a chef because I want to be a teacher. I know I like English because I would like to be a teacher. I know I can give people assistance because I should to be a teacher. I am a god damn stupid!! It was so obvious....Looking forward, walking forward and flying forward straightly. There are thousand challenges which were waiting for me from the day I was born. Sorry for your waiting. Thank you for your waiting. It will not be wasted. I will embrace it with my appreciation. I will be a teacher.

Japanese restaurant

Finally, I got a chance to eat Japanese food in Toronto. In some way, the feeling was mostly like real Japanese restaurant except the hard pork....However, the salmon seemed really dilicious, and the Tiger Roll was tasty, too. Shxt! I forgot to take some pictures.... About the conversation, does it suit me to become a teacher? I am wondering. Why do I always need the definitions for everything? When did I become this way to think about issues? I found a phenomenon and made a hypothesis today. We are the same. All of us maybe think that we are different, but it is just partly different. No one can tell me the exact goal in his/her life, yet some of them could give me schedules which are flexible. So the hypothesis is that there are no "searchlights". Where is the goal? Hum....I tell you, "the goal is "there"". "Do you get it?" "No, how come?" Look, it is just there! There!!" The problem is that it is hyaline and invisible. However, you still can "see" it if you are smarter than the king in the fable, King's new clothes. I made a mistake to look for something which is not exist. So how can I suppose to find it and gain the answer? I am in the bottleneck in a neck of a bottle. Holy shxt! I am stuck here for a long long time. Next time, please let me show you some Chinese food. Well, maybe you don't know it is the first time for me to feel like that I have a friend here to talk and have a meal with, and now you know I did had a good time. Anyway, I am sad that it is time to go "home", but maybe it will be the next opportunity for me to come here as you said, "There is always a reason behind" "Trust me". HaHa. Nice to talk to you.

What a wonderful BiRthdAy!! LOL

I have never had this feeling for a long long time. It was so complicated, but it did filled with happiness and wished. Thank all of you. Your friendships, your words on the cards, your interesting gifts, your food, your "happy birthday", and "your" lovly hug are all the sweetest memory in this moment, in my life. I never ever expect these, but I have them now. Are there any synonyms for "thank" or stronger than "thank"? You will never know you just, suddenly, complete my life in Toronto. What I am looking for may be these "things". They are so hard to be found because it can't be expected and it does not exactly exist in the ordinary. I am wondering what I though about these blessing like. What should I buy for the presents? What kind of restaurant should I treat? Should I just say "Happy Birthday" and it will be good enough? What am I supposed to do? I went to school as usual and then it was a lonly morning for me becasue there was no people who talked to me. At the break time, I got lvely gifts, baloons, little angle, and a card with whole blessing and emotion. I returned only "thank you", but I wished you can feel it wass more than "thank you" a lot. Then I got a birthday song and more "happy birthday" because of the shinny baloons. After class, I obtained a fantastic "hug"^^ and more " happy birthday". Later, I had a vanilla bean hot chocolate with my friends. I want to use "my best friedns" but it is not fair for the people who treated me so well and so freidnly. Eventually, I got more " happy birthday", drink, food and handshake, and went home with whole happiness and wishes in my backpack. It was really a lot and it was overflowing from my tiny backpack on my way home. What language can express my feeling? English? Mandarin? Japanese? or ..... Thank you, and all you know it does not just mean that. It is much more than the words. I apprecuate that. Ilove you all.

Great debate

Today is the first day to do our seminar class. I was lucky that I got my first choice-Great debat. It's an interest for me to meet new professor and new classmates. We had a kind of debate in the first day, and the purpose is that we had to say something to get a fresh human heart from Canada center hospital. It was really amazing. What is chindren's debate? What is a professional debate? I think I can distinguish them, but I doubt that now. Calmly? Excitedly? Heatedly? Maybe I used to be too heatedly before. Recently, I met two "great" debate. Perhaps I should call them "arguments". They were all about friendship. There is a English dictum,"Easy come , easy go." I know it is not proper to use this saying here because it is used to describe money. However, the feeling was match what I felt deeply when my friends told me that they were not friends anymore. They know each other more than I know them definitely. In my opinion, it is really hard to get friends here. The reason could be my personality or something else, and I always admired the people who studied at the same classroom, ate lunch together and hanged out with each other. Friends are the nutrition for my daily life. How come it was so easy to be destroyed? I told them,"Don't be like children." I felt funny because Greg just said,"It is children's." Of course, he talked about argument, but I was thinking their weak friendship, and I directly told them not to do these things like children. It is better to imagine the opposite side's thought and situation first and then make a suggestion or adjudgment. My dear friends, friendship is kind of treasure in our lives. Please maintain it and polished it frequently.

This is Brian...over

This is Brian from earth.
Nice to meet you, everybody.
My planet is beautiful and welcome to visit my home.
B....B....B....B....

Shame

Imagining a cup of beverage on a table in a log cbabin, and then answering the question...How much beverage is the cup filled with? The answer is going to reflect that how much confidence you have. I did the question long long time ago. My answer was that the beverage was overfilling the cup, as a fountain. When I know the meaning of the question, I was so proud of myself, even I didn't know where my confidence came from. There is a Chinese dictum,"It is better to be a head of a rooster than a tail of a bull." A rooster is definitely smaller and weaker than a bull. What it means is that it is a good choice to be the best one in a smaller and weaker group rather than the worst one in a bigger and powerful group. Is it all right? I was not sure at all. However, I consider that it is totally wrong, but it is just my personal perspective. I was in the situation, the head of a rooster,in my whole life mostly. The feeling was great and satisfied, and even you can say it was as beautiful as a dream. It would do well to keep staying in the dream and wishing the day to wake up would never arrive. Unfortunatily, I woke up that day, and the fact just slapped across my face cruelly. I comprehended that there are countless kinds of "animals" in the world except "roosters" and even "bulls". There are rats, dogs, sheep, tigers, giraffe, hippopotamuses, elephants, whales, and something much bigger or smaller. There are no more pride. There are no more hubris. All those invisible reception would merely expose how faint I am, how craven I am, and how weak I am. What a shame! WHat a shame! I will chewed you as more as I can. I will feel the worst feeling you gave to me genuinely. There are no more ranks in my life in future. My opponent is only one who is I. I will be the opponent forever. I won't forget the shame they gave to me. The day was January 11, 2008.

Is it true? Women prefer bad huys?

It is a rule ~ Women prefer bad men. Yes or no? Thank you to remind me this. Time can cure spiritual illnesses, and release us from troubles. Sometimes it erases happiness passingly. What my purposes here are learning English, looking for my real goals, making friends and changing myself. I have kind of achieved two purposes which are studying English and making friends; however, I have not found my final goals here and the worst thing is that I modify myself back to the original one who is the Brian in Taiwan. Dear friends, you are definitely right. I think too much to lose the chances which I should grasp to arrange myself again. Human being is not a machine. How can I fix it or modify it? Fortunately, I can and you can, too. I can do "it" if I want to do it. Don't be afraid. The role I perform in the same way for thirty-five years almost, and it is the perfect time to change now.