When I fall in love.......

quoted from:blog.roodo.com/.../cat_55255.html&page=5

What can we do in front of "Love"? Nothing.
"Love" is something that I was struggled to catch, but all I done were useless.
Suddenly, it came to me.
Quietly, fast, and gentlely.
Before I settled down my trap, I became the prey.

I was confused....
How come a hunter could become a prey willingly? :)

Obviously, I loved to be a prey this time.

Thank you to come into my life and sit beside me.
Show me your love bravely and generously.

I love to hear you said you love making love with me.
I love to hear you said you love the pure feeling while being with me.
I love to look at you. just look at you. with no words.
I love to

Hum....

quoted from:http://www.toxel.com/inspiration/2009/01/20/24-modern-mugs-and-creative-mug-designs/
It is my shortage and defect. I have to try everything to make me believe in it. It is truth that there should be a aim first, then it will be easy to endeavor to achieve it. Before the aim could be found, most of the endeavors is waste. I just found the rules I used in my previous life are not efficient and proper anymore. Tey are good, but just good. It has to be better and better and better. I am making an experiment. I ignored the main stuff that people chase all the time and that stuff should be useful and attractive in this modern society. They are money, position, and reputation. I throwed myself to the middle of Taiwan where is one of the poorest area in this country probably. Fortunately, I have a job now and it is to sell tea leaves. What the difference from before is I got free two meals for five days a week, a free room for anytime, and few salary. Is it out of the way I was on? Yes it is. I wish someday I would feel just right to write a story about myself. It will be interesting definitely.

I am working in Nanto

quoted from:healeylibrary.wikispaces.com/SOCIOLOGY
Here I am not only doing a job to earn the money, but also living with a group which is constituted by few people who are good at studying Sociology and executing the rules related to Sociology in their daily lives. Honestly, I have to say they are strange. At least, they are believing in something that most of us never think about or we know it but just let it exist beside us without any consciousness. I don't like this feeling at all, but i am curious about what I will abtain after living wiht them for a while. I wish this period could be 6 months at least. The environment I am living in is original and poor. However, it makes me using my time to think except watching TV or doing something to waste time. I can feel I am exactly living when the environment only gives me space and various sounds from insects and animals. It is truth that you can take more when you don't grasp too much in your hands. Is that the common saying? I think so....haha

Plan versus Change

quoted from:www.taiwantravelmap.com/album/browsing.php?ke...
Life is changed really fast. Someday I was claiming what I am going to do, but it changed few days later. One thought exists in my mind deeply. It keeps telling me I am going to do all of these things that I have ever figured out in my past. I wonder it will be realized, but I still believe in it. In these two years, I tried my best to do what I wanna do and what I was afraid to do. In some way, I have to say that I did it well. Somehow it has never stopped my eager to grasp something new or unique. I have to give my appreciation to my dear friends. you are all my inspirations. In this week, something good happened. one of my friend had an interview with an organization which is about charity in the middle of Taiwan. It is an opportunity for me because I have looked for a job for long time and there were no jobs match my wish. In another hand, I always want to help people but can not find the way or method to realize my mind. In the beginning, I considered I may contribute something to support this organization, however they thought maybe I could find out what I was always looking forward with them on the contrary. At that moment, I was confused that who is the saver, and whom is the one to be saved. haha. Later, another friend knocked me by msn and asked me make up my mind as soon as possible, or I have to open a shop to sell breakfast only to accomplish our childish dream long time ago. For them and for me. It is a sweet deal to help me have a better life. And it is a backup for me from my dear friends. Thank you. Thank all of you. Without all of you, I wonder if I can reach this step. Anyway, I am here, and you are with me all the time. You and you and you. Yes, I mean you. lol

Two Lovers

quoted from:www.entertainmentwallpaper.com/download/10016145/
I just finished this film. I don't know how but I do feel what he feels. The drama is a little be unusual, however it seems like a real section of a normal life. I found it is a good way to watch a movie, which is to immerse in it deeply and completely. When we admire a movie throughout with hearts and without judgements or thought, it is obvious to feel and get what the director wants to say and to present. Recently I got words which came from a famouos person, Oscar Wilde, which is,"No shallow people who do not judge appearance." Also I am reading a book, Against interpretation, which was wrote by Susan Sontag and had been translated to several languages already. It is definitely a new world for me to discover even though I found I am not so smart to understand everything she declared, and it is the first time that I found I am not clever enough. haha. too bad. I think maybe it is kind of a upgrade that I am looking for something to define myself in a harder way. Let's go back to this movie. I have to say Gwyneth Paltrow is really attractive and charming. Joaquin Pheonix was also amazing in this movie. It didn't make me cry, but I know I felt it clearly at that moment when he laughed and cried. Have a loook if you want to do it but not yet.

Reading makes me happy

quoted from: www.brunozzi.com/en/2008/05/
Long time no see, my dear friends. In these days, things changed so fast, too fast to grasp the real feeling during it. However, everything would leave its footprint without exception. All these marks composed me. I met a mysterious piano teacher in the beginning. Of course it is She. haha. She is a totally new world for me to discover with curiousity. Then I know she is a completely unusual artist and an instructor about instruments. I was immersed in that weird feeling which she gave to me in these two weeks. At the same time, she introduced several books to me. All these books are related to Alchemy and Zen. Suddenly I found I have never read any books which are so abstruse and difficult to understand. Insensibly, I was used to read simple books and articles gradually before. I think it is also the reason that I discovered my brain wa going to be dumb previously. Now and then, I could think carefully and completely, but it was hard to keep this situation at most part of life. Fortunately, I got my brain back finally. "Jung and Alchemy", this book costed me three days to finish it, and it also made me a little bit confused. I understand what I read, but I don't understand it deeply. So I just let my brain take a rest and wish it can operate by itself.

quote from:store.halloweentownstore.com/.../PROD/0181/TS337
This morning, I finished a movie,"I spit on your grave". It is a famous movie which was abandoned to be public until recent decade. Maybe the reasons for this movie to be abandoned are that it includes violence, sex, mistreatment, and something which was over the morality or rules in that era. It was made in 1978 if I remember it correctly. Haha. This movie shows everything in our daylives nakedly. Sorry I am not going to decribe anything about the drama, but the feel I obtained in it. First of all, it was made in thirty years ago, but it is not boring or inferior at all. Instead of Taiwanese movies, there are no aged and toneless periods in it, but the same feeling as modern movies which includ excitement, interesting tempo, and attractive points step by step. How could the director make that movie in a modern way before thrity years?
The second, this movie made me miss up one of my unforgettable ex-ex-ex-.... girlfriend. How come? I have not thought about her for a long long time. Why she came out suddenly? Then I figuared out one theory later. Humanbeing is like a object as an iron or a piece of wood. I mean if you can do something to change the state of these materials or the arrangement of molecules in them by some specific methods, maybe it is possible for us to do something to stimulate ourselves or others to become different characters or whom we want to be. I mean that we can catch some stimulation actively, instead of being passively.
I tried to figure out what was existing in my mind clearly, but it was not successful. However, I think it could be a helpful shortcut to find out who we are and what we want. :))

What I think is what I am

quoted from: www.1-123.com/1keji/dikaer.asp
It was weird. Two of my closed friends told me something about my defects recently. After we watched a movie,"Yes, man.", we talked a lot. The main point in our conversation is related to that movie because he wanted me to be positive and stop giving my opinions to my previous jobs and his friend's job. He thought I have never changed myself at all, and the worst thing was I turned back to the origin. I was confused about why he told me that and what he indeed wanted to make me understand. Two days after that was today. He called me again to express that he really wanted to finish what he wanted to convey to me totally even though we have talked more than two hours already that day. I thought maybe I do have a big problem, but I also wondered why you knew what is right or wrong. And even you can give me some opinions about international trade which you have no experience about, but just have watched the process. And, you are a computer engineer. And I was a salesman ever. You might be right, and so do I. I am thinking if it is "right" that people who have good jobs, beautiful families, and money understand what is exactly a right way to live or to perchase everything. Be honestly, it seems logical and rational because they already have what most people want in the world and they do reach some goals in their lives, but I haven't. I think it is my self-esteem to make me think in this way. I am not willing to recognize that I chose the wrong way to live my life or to be myself before. Having a good job, a wonderful family, and money can be a successful complishment. Also it could stand for yourself. I am a loser if comparing to you. So I think everything in a different way because we are in different positon and situation. I believe I will do the same thing to others if I am as successful as you. I am fortunate that I am not as good as you 'cause I know what you have now totally after you worked so hard for so long time and it makes me feel happy to you, but it doesn't make me feel envious or jealous about your everything. Well, if you get hundred million fortune, then maybe I will be jealous of you. haha. I appreciate what you told and did for me sincerely. I wish I can repay you and other successful friends my excellent complishment which I make by my way to show you something new and interesting in the world. :))

Blood Donation

quoted from: idrcngo.com/blood.php?A3
Finally, today was a better day for me to go out to breathe some air. In the morning, there was few rain still falling and it was really cold. Generally, the rain stopped and weather became warmer. At that moment, an idea just passed through my brain~go get a blood donation. I don't know when blood donation becomes a activity in my life. And now it becomes a special destination to me. I am sure that my purpose is not only to help somedoby, but make my mind stable and peaceful. You ask me why? I don't know so I can't tell you exactly. However, I indeed felt calm and smooth when I was waiting or even when I watched my blood coming out of my obvious vein. The organization mails a message to remind me to donate blood every six months. Even it gave me a birthday card last year, and it made me feel warm and sweet very much. By the way, you can get something to be a gift or supplies after donating blood. This time I got two tubes of toothpaste. :)) Unfortunately, I broke a rule about donating blood. I didn't get any lunch before i went to do blood donation, so I experienced a horrible period of time after one hour. When that time I just finished reading a book to raise up, and pretended to find some interesting books to enjoy my sunday. Suddenly I felt dizzy and sick. I struggled to run out to get a seat, but the feeling was getting worse every second. Cold sweat came out of my whole body and I felt I want to puke. The feeling kept few seconds I think, but it felt like the end of the world and it kept as long as years.....Later I felt better and struggled to raise to ride my scooter back home even though I wonder if I could make it. Then I found a Mos Burger beside the road on my way home, and I just parked my scooter and went into Mos Burger order a set to obtain some energy, and awefully the horrible feeling came out again to make me sick while I was ordering my favorate hot dog. Thanked the waiter for preparing my food quickly. He saved my life, but he never knew that. This is the first time I met the dangerous situation after donating blood. It made me think a lot when I sat in Mos Burger chewing my hot dog. Human being's live is so weak. It's rerally like a candle in the wind. Now I realize what Eric Clapton wants to indicate in his famous song which was for remembering his lovely son, "Tears in Heaven". Do what you wanna do. Live in what kind of life you wanna have. ASAP. To my all dear friends.

Myth

quoted from: pitayastudio.myweb.hinet.net/art10-1.htm
The funny thing is I am going to leave the company what I built and stayed at. Nothing special but quarrel. Actually, quarrel is not special at all, but the ways we show out ourselves are totally different and weird. At this moment, I consider that some people are wonderful to be friends for whole life long, but they are not the ones to fit the position as co-workers or partners sometimes. Who is the right one? I wonder there is anyone right. Be honestly to say so, I don't know how somebody knows what he said were all correct and helpful, and even knows other people's thoughts. Am I dumb or others are too smart? I can't accept that, and I think there are nothing correct always except that you think it and believe that it is right and correct. Maybe this is a sophistry, but nothing can be sure certainly. What the pity is not I can't do the business anymore, but there were always harmful words came out in a quarrel or arguement. The ridiculous thing is people always say what they do or what they say are from good intentions. I think this saying is the cover of all violence, no matter in behavior or words. Every moment is part of my life. If this way is stuck, then go to find another way. All roads lead to Rome. :))

New Business

Jeff and me are going to open a new business. A new and interesting business. Jeff was my classmate in junior high school, and is my best friend in my life. At least until now. It is realistic to say this, but it's indeed easy to destroy our friendship while we are opening a business together. After all there are too many unnecessary elements in our friendship this period of time, which are money, authority, and desires. No one of us knows what is going to happen later, but just believe in each other. What the most important thing is what we are goign to do. A business to offer transportatiion to the disabled and whom could not use public transportation and taxi easily is what we plan to do. Actually there is a huge system to provide the same service, but the units to execute it are not responsible to do their duty while they are accepting the subsidy from government. Also, the rule to use or book this service is unsatisfied and narrow. It causes some people who really need this service have no chance to get this benefit in the end. This is the main reason for us to open a business to provide more service to fill to lack of demand by personal organization without subsidy. Of course we want to make money meanwhile. It is a positive circle. At this moment, the business will open on April first. There is no related experience to consult before we prepare the fundation for this enterprise. So wish us lucky. :))

Monopoly

quoted from: http://www.allthings.tv/web/index.php/category/Development/P8/
If I am right, the title of the book what I read this evening is "What I learned about business in Monopoly". It indeed made me shock. Here are several Chinese versions Monopoly in Taiwan. As I remember, we all play in one way which is to roll two dices turn by turn until somebody become bankrupt, then the game is over. It was all about luck and a little estimation only. However, I "learned" that the are some important and significant rules in this game. The way to buy a right of street, the way to build a house, the way to apply mortgages, the way to auction, and the way to caculate how much money we exactly receive when other players come to "visit" our streets and properties. Because of auction, mortgage, and the different rule to build houses, this game is much more familiar with fact in society and in the world. Of course, it is simple and easy to deal with all stuff happened in playing time. It is all about business. Risk and opportunity usually come together without absence of each other. It which is to be brave and careful all the time is the fundational condition to achieve a meaningful and successful life. Smooth process leads to a noraml or a fail future, but a process full of challenge leads to a various and beautiful future with posibility. There is not about goodness or badness. It is about what you really want in your heart deeply.

what I think, what I read

quoted from:health.howstuffworks.com/brain-pictures.htm
Yesterday I just had an interesting idea about if what I read from books is better than what I figure out by myself. The situation I am in is a progresstive and exceting one. It is necessary for me to absorb a lot of knowledge and concepts to make all unclear thoughts and environment clear. We all need wisdom. I found there were few books which would provide some wise and helpful methods and thoughts to improve the situation I am doing my best to realize. Some of these ideas in books are tricky and some of them are not easy to figure out by ourselves. However, I wonder if I should just pick up these "good" ideas from books which were made by smart and experienced writers. Why not? These suggestions and recommendations are wisedom and helpful for sure. Because I think I can get part of these ideas by myself. I mean I could or maybe should think about these questions or problems carefully and deeply to search out the answers. Do I need to find the resolutions by myself and for this I have to spend time or a lot of time? It is worth probably. The processes I will be in to discover the answers may be the next shortcut or new method to resolve countless problems during the situation I am making myself a better person and also in my life. I am just not sure, and I love reading. I am afraid I will forget how to deal with problems with my brain without books, and sometimes we all have to "create" and figure out new stuff and ideas. It is interesting. I remember I did that all the time when I was young. I mean really "young". :) Anyway, that's what I found last night, and what you think??

how about being a teacher

quoted from:www.miqel.com/rare_books/teacher/intro.html
The feeling was exciting, and maybe too exciting. That was my first experience to be a Mandarin teacher in my life. Well, it was more like a experience to be a Mandarin tutor except where we have a class was in a real classroom. I have to say it was completely dislike what I thought or even imagined before. I was petrified and my brain was empty as a blank basement, but my student was just one.... It was amazing to "help" a foreigner to be familiar with my mother language. My student is Lissette who is a beautiful and smart girl from Chile. It made me feel comfortable to teach a mature and diligent person, and because this I could taught her more with enthusiasm and energy. Anyway, today was the third time we had a class, and she studied so hard to pass the final examination yesterday. I think she kind of enjoyed in the atmosphere we built together today. I wish I can give her more and help her to have a unforgettable and wonderful memory of learning Mandarin. Good luck to us.

Sit together or not?

quoted from: www.barebonephoto.com/blog/?m=200708
This afternoon I took a book with me and sat on stairs in front of a music hall. People used to sit on both sides of stairs instead of the middle area mostly. Also, people, like you and me, would not like to sit beside to a stranger. However, today I discovered there were somebodies who just sat beside strangers directly while they chose sets to take a resr. They are children. Female and male are same. I am not here to make some critiques, but I really want to share the feeling with you. I was happy and satisfied when I wathced that scene. It is a feeling. Hard to explain.

How to save a Fool?

quoted from: www.cis.upenn.edu/~bcpierce/FOOL/FOOL10.html
How to save a Fool?
Teach him with enough patience.
Teach him step by step, according to his situation.
Try some special ways to make him smart.
Eat something to improve his brain. haha!
yes, all above are effective mostly.
However, it is necessary to do one thing first definitely.
What is that?
That is ~
Let the Fool understand that he is a fool.

Diane Arbus

quotted from: http://www.masters-of-fine-art-photography.com/02/artphotogallery/photographers/diane_arbus_17.html
Recently, I was unusual to study some boods which I would never have interests in before. I was excited about it, but also worried too. Diane Arbus, a female photographer, suicided to end her life. I learned that most famous or strange and famous people had different childhood, or choosed defferent life unconsciously or consciously. I am afraid that I have the ability to make the same decision, but i doubt I am ready to take the result. However, it shocked me strongly. That book which named as Diane Arbus's biography was written by a reporter who collected a lot of details except Diane Arbus's family members. I read it hardly because of my poor English, of course. haha. Well, it indeed is a heavy and thick book too. Due to my poor English, I skipped the main part in the book, and focused on what she had done when she was alive. She took many many pictures which come from deep inside of her. I felt I was looking for a spirit that she had to achieve what she desired always without fear. There are only few days I can stay in the world. So are you and others. Is what I am supposed to do what I have done? I am sad and shame about that I have to say "No". Time is passing and life is still on my hands. Be brave to Do it.

Happy Chinese COW Year

Well, I am back to Taiwan now, but I will not go back to Malaysia. Time is passing, and things are changing all the time. What am I going to do now? I will open a new business with my best friend and his older brother. The interesting stuff is that there are two common sayings with are related to three persons. One says that three normal people who can cooperate could be better than one smartest guy. Another one says that three monks have no water to drink. Yes, you get it. Our team is composed by three people. So which one is the one we are similiar with? I have no ideas yet, and I wanna know it anxiously too. Guys in Maylaysia are passionate and friendly. They make me feel sad and guilty after I left them because of my personal desire. It is selfish and unkind. They are a professional group whose members are humble and pure. I have never met these kind of people who are pro without any arrogance. It is because of the background of the country or its culture. I do learned a lot in Malaysia, even though I will be there for a period of time. And buddy, "you" have my words that I will find you when I go to Malaysia. I promise. Now back to my business. It is about something we can do for disabled and elders. It is ideal and beautiful but not so realistic. Now here are some arguement happened already, and I think it will be frequently. Finally, I decided to give me and my partners three months at least to see if we can help each other to reach the goal. SOmetimes I just feel I am doing what I should already do when I was young, but it makes me feel more complete. In the moment, Chinese new year, I wish our team can make something happened and keep our friendship as usual. Wish all my friends have a wonderful COW year. Healthy and happy. :))

Roam

Best female friend shouted at me, "Isn't it enough for you to roam two years ?" "What hell that $800 dollars means to you?! Dawn it!!" Yes, she is totally right. Money is nothing to me but time. 2 years = 730 days = 17520 hours = 1,051,200 minutes = 63,072,000 seconds. It is good to have this experience, but it is expensive. You get something while you lose another one or more at the same time. I believe it. It is fine except you are reluctant to get something you are interested in because you are afraid of losing what you already owned or you also have interest in. However, what is the worthest stuff in the world or in your personal world is the hardest judgement for a human being. It depends on only you. well, maybe it is time to move forward or perhaps I was moving all the time but it looked like I was at the same position all the time. Best male friend talked to me, "Wanna have our business in Taiwan?"" You are welcome to join us immeliately!!" This is an opportunity. And it came on time. What hell I am thinking about? As chief Jimmy said, "I don't care what your xxxx, just try it! Just try!" Ok, ok. I will do it. lol thanks a lot, buddies.