Shame

Imagining a cup of beverage on a table in a log cbabin, and then answering the question...How much beverage is the cup filled with? The answer is going to reflect that how much confidence you have. I did the question long long time ago. My answer was that the beverage was overfilling the cup, as a fountain. When I know the meaning of the question, I was so proud of myself, even I didn't know where my confidence came from. There is a Chinese dictum,"It is better to be a head of a rooster than a tail of a bull." A rooster is definitely smaller and weaker than a bull. What it means is that it is a good choice to be the best one in a smaller and weaker group rather than the worst one in a bigger and powerful group. Is it all right? I was not sure at all. However, I consider that it is totally wrong, but it is just my personal perspective. I was in the situation, the head of a rooster,in my whole life mostly. The feeling was great and satisfied, and even you can say it was as beautiful as a dream. It would do well to keep staying in the dream and wishing the day to wake up would never arrive. Unfortunatily, I woke up that day, and the fact just slapped across my face cruelly. I comprehended that there are countless kinds of "animals" in the world except "roosters" and even "bulls". There are rats, dogs, sheep, tigers, giraffe, hippopotamuses, elephants, whales, and something much bigger or smaller. There are no more pride. There are no more hubris. All those invisible reception would merely expose how faint I am, how craven I am, and how weak I am. What a shame! WHat a shame! I will chewed you as more as I can. I will feel the worst feeling you gave to me genuinely. There are no more ranks in my life in future. My opponent is only one who is I. I will be the opponent forever. I won't forget the shame they gave to me. The day was January 11, 2008.